The FASD Success Show

Episode 179: Melissa Dobson — Turning Sh*t Into Rocket Fuel

The holidays are here, and for a lot of caregivers raising individuals with FASD, this isn’t the season of calm and cozy.
It’s the season where routines explode, nerves fray, school schedules flip, people show up unannounced, and you’re trying to keep everyone safe while the world tells you to “make memories.”

That’s why all month long, The FASD Success Show is bringing you the Holiday Sanity Series — conversations that unpack the science, the stress, and the strategies that actually make life work for families like ours.

And to kick things off, I’m joined by Melissa Dobson, caregiver, mom of three teens, and Co-Chair of the Family Advisory Committee at CanFASD.

Melissa’s story is one that every caregiver will recognize. She’s been through the system fights, the school meetings, the sleepless nights, and the constant rebuilding that happens after everything falls apart.
But instead of letting it break her, she’s learned how to take the hard stuff, the setbacks, the overwhelm, the sh*t life throws at you, and turn it into rocket fuel.

In This Episode You’ll Hear

Why you can’t fight every battle and why that’s not weakness.
Chronic advocacy keeps your body in survival mode. The brain doesn’t know the difference between emotional stress and physical danger. It releases cortisol and adrenaline either way. Melissa shares how she learned to pause, recover, and fight from a place of regulation instead of burnout.

How rebuilding routines repairs the brain.
For individuals with FASD, predictability equals safety. Every time you rebuild after chaos, you’re helping the brain re-establish order, calm the amygdala, and bring the thinking brain back online.

Connection isn’t a luxury. It’s co-regulation.
When we connect with someone who feels safe, our brains release oxytocin, the chemical that quiets the stress response. Melissa explains how community and shared experience have helped her stay grounded and steady her kids through hard seasons.

Letting things fall apart isn’t failure. It’s flexibility.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is stop holding everything together. Letting go of old routines and traditions that don’t fit your child’s needs isn’t giving up. It’s creating space for the brain to adapt and grow in new ways.

Advocacy works best when you’re regulated.
When your nervous system is calm, your prefrontal cortex — the part responsible for reasoning, empathy, and problem-solving — stays engaged. Melissa shows how advocacy rooted in regulation creates real change instead of constant exhaustion.

Why It Matters

This season isn’t about perfection. It’s about protection.
When you build your holidays around regulation instead of expectation, your family’s nervous systems can actually handle the joy.

Regulated brains learn better, connect better, and recover faster.
And that includes yours.

Melissa’s story reminds us that you can’t control everything that comes your way, but you can decide what to do with it.

You can turn frustration into focus.
You can turn chaos into clarity.
And yes, you can turn sh*t into rocket fuel.

Because regulation isn’t the reward you get for surviving the season.
It’s the foundation that makes everything else possible.

That’s your one good thing this week.

Resources & Links

Connect with Melissa Dobson
Co-Chair, Family Advisory Committee — CanFASD.ca

Join Our Community
Free Caregiver Group: facebook.com/groups/FASDforever

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