After a hiatus, Jeff Noble returns to the FASD Success Show with a tale that's been waiting in the wings. Dive into an episode filled with unexpected twists, raw emotions, and the resilience that defines every journey. Why did Jeff step away? And what brought him back to the microphone? More importantly, there's an announcement on the horizon that promises to reshape the FASD landscape. You won't want to miss this triumphant return, where every revelation leads to a brighter path forward. Tune in, lean in, and discover what's been unfolding behind the scenes.
As we draw our journey to a close, we delve into the realm of emotional wellness and learn how to cope during challenging times. I'll share how I lean on my tribe for support and express my gratitude to those who've been there for me. So, are you ready for this emotional rollercoaster? Join me on this epic journey and let's face life's ups and downs together, turning every challenge into a success story.
Show Notes:
Check out our blog for all the links at FASD Success
After a hiatus, Jeff Noble returns to the FASD Success Show with a tale that's been waiting in the wings. Dive into an episode filled with unexpected twists, raw emotions, and the resilience that defines every journey. Why did Jeff step away? And what brought him back to the microphone? More importantly, there's an announcement on the horizon that promises to reshape the FASD landscape. You won't want to miss this triumphant return, where every revelation leads to a brighter path forward. Tune in, lean in, and discover what's been unfolding behind the scenes.
As we draw our journey to a close, we delve into the realm of emotional wellness and learn how to cope during challenging times. I'll share how I lean on my tribe for support and express my gratitude to those who've been there for me. So, are you ready for this emotional rollercoaster? Join me on this epic journey and let's face life's ups and downs together, turning every challenge into a success story.
Show Notes:
Check out our blog for all the links at FASD Success
Welcome back. It's the FASD success show. It's Jeff Noble, and I miss you like crazy. I've been on a wild ride learning, growing, laughing and, yes, even shedding a few tears. But now I'm here, more fired up than ever, to share everything with you.
Jeff Noble:So grab a favorite beverage, hide away from the kids, find a comfy spot and let's dive into this adventure together, because we have got some catching up to do. Hold on to your hats, folks, because this isn't just any old, normal episode. Oh no, we're going big. I'm going to take you behind the scenes of my whirlwind journey, filled with unexpected twists and powerful lessons that I know will resonate with every caregiver out there, and if you've ever felt like the day-to-day grind of raising an individual with FASD is wearing you down, you're gonna wanna hear what's coming up, because I got some nuggets of wisdom, a sprinkle of my humor and, of course, a special offering that's gonna light a fire under you. So buckle up, friends, because the FASD Success Show is back and we're about to take off. Let's go. Oh, before we kick things off, if this is your first show with us - welcome, we are so glad that you are here!
Jeff Noble:My name is Jeff Noble and I run an organization called FASD Success. We provide education and training to caregivers so that they can have better days at home and become amazing advocates in the community. The reason why I'm doing this is because I became a foster parent when I was just a real young man in my late 20s to this young man with fetal alcohol spectrum disorder and it was through this real life lived experience that I really understood about what was going on and how hard this was and how frustrating of a journey this could be, not only for the parents but for the caregivers as well. I've been providing education for over 10 years now. I've had this podcast for two years and we were really regular with our updates and we put out a show a week. My sister passed away and then we stopped after that. I did like a eulogy. You can check it out at www. fasdsuccesscom/ podcast. But if you have been an avid listener and wondered about where have I been for the last six months, let's kick it off.
Jeff Noble:Okay, I was a little rusty hopping on a flight (to California) and it actually took me two hours to drive there. Somebody met me at the airport in Sacramento because there was no actually direct flight to Redding. Man I was rusty, but with delays and things that were happening. By the time I got there they were having an actual meet and greet and I think it started at six. I got there at 5.30, but plus the time changed at three hours. What are you gonna do? I got dressed and I went to the event. The clock's ticking, my heart's pounding. It's been the first time I've done this in a while and I'm like, am I gonna make it? Am I gonna be rusty? And what's going on? Am I gonna be too tired? But you know what, the moment I stepped into that room, the fatigue vanished, the energy of the people who were there. They were like funders and people that worked with Haley's organization, kindred Hearts. But here's the lesson, even though it had been a long time since I've been in front of people or on the road like that, it's just to embrace the excitement and use that energy and lean into what you know, and that's what I knew. So, even running with fumes, the connection with others can totally lift you up, and I know what I'm talking about. But just don't know if you are gonna be receptive or if you're gonna remember everything. But using that connection, everybody was excited to see me, so that always helps, right? I got my message across about how important the work they were doing really was. So let's fast forward.
Jeff Noble:The next day it was a full day training with Kindred Hearts. I'm in my groove, I'm getting ready and then boom, in walks the gentleman by the name of Brian Post, the Post Institute and dudes. I'm not name dropping, but I was genuinely shocked. No idea he lived in Reading. He's been on my podcast before. I learned a lot of lessons from him. So by all means, check the Post Institute. And it was cool. He brought some of his team. And why this matters is because it's about working with people who are making a difference. It's about embracing the surprises and just it was nice. I was like, oh, that's cool. He thought of me and came to talk to me. He's cool, nice guy. When the lesson here is stay open, continuous growth and brace the unexpected and cherish the connections that come from your way. And you never know who's gonna walk through the door. And it felt really good. They also had caregivers and individuals on the spectrum there that talked during break. They were amazing. That's always good to see individuals on the spectrum doing so well. So that was my first back into it. I was feeling pretty good about myself.
Jeff Noble:All right, buckle up folks, because next we're heading to Kasseshuan, first Nation. Kasseshuan, for those of you don't know, is a community in Northern Ontario. It is James Bay, hudson Bay, and it's only accessible by plane and ice road, I believe, in the winter time. They've got no cell service. They're under a boil water advisory, so no clean drinking water and that's a challenge. Affordable groceries they have a lot of hardships up there, but let me tell you, the spirit of these people is something else. Now I'm from Northeastern Ontario, but the weather in Kasseshuan it is wild.
Jeff Noble:I was supposed to do the next day of full day training, but we know that life has other plans and the last minute I found out there was a funeral for a beloved member, so I had to cut my training down from six hours to three. And here's a bit of context for you. I've been to many First Nation communities. I even got some indigenous roots myself. My mom is a status-carrying indigenous beautiful woman, and before myself there's this thing called the second generation cutoff rule in the Indian Act, as they call it. It's a law that limits indigenous status to two generations. So cutting off, like benefits and recognition and stuff, that's the rule of the law, but still saying that I love them. I obviously indigenous communities and people are close to my heart, so I'm in there doing my own thing and I'm waiting for the audience.
Jeff Noble:Now my sense is that indigenous folks are often like quiet and at first they are watching you and they are wanted to see if you're full of shit or and can get a sense you, because while they do get visitors, they don't get a lot of visitors. So I was waiting for that. And one thing I know in my experience with indigenous folks is I know that I'm doing well. I know that things are happening. When they start to tease me, when they start to poke fun at me, start to laugh and you can hear people laughing. And this time there was like nothing and I could understand because they're you know, obviously they have a funeral going on, but I am pulling out all the stops and nothing. So I just said, hey, you know what? I'm going to do my best to give real good context and content.
Jeff Noble:And the break time comes and I snap this picture because I think it's only three hours, nobody has said a word or done anything and they're probably going to get ready for the funeral and they're in a pretty somber mood. So I said I better take a picture now just to let people know that, yeah, people are actually here, because what happens in an indigenous community? Oftentimes the workers or the community workers will offer food because that is a meal like breakfast, because it's a benefit, it's something that's good to offer because groceries are expensive. It's egregious Now not here to try to ball roll Walters, what's going on? The finer politics or the supply chain? I just think it's gross and I'm embarrassed to buy it for me personally. They're just so resilient.
Jeff Noble:Okay, and so, anyways, they were eating and then it was break time and I thought, oh for sure they're going to go, but long old. Like five minutes later, people started like funneling in. There was half the crowd there and then they were all back and we started having real meaningful conversations about FASD and while they weren't as loud or a vocal as even some of the indigenous communities I've even been to, we did have excellent dialogue and afterwards I was talking to people for about an hour because they had real insightful observations and conversations, and I had great conversations with teachers that were there and it was awesome. What I'm happening is was a half day training, so what we decided to do is offer it again in the evening time for the community members, but like I was sitting there going through the weather.
Jeff Noble:Nobody was there, nobody was coming, and I never had to push a door open before. In my entire life I've never had to do that. It was insane. But any who? I figure? Oh my gosh, the weather is crazy. Who wants to? That's just the way it goes.
Jeff Noble:And then in walk on aunt with her 12 or 13 year old nephew who had just been diagnosed about two years before but never really had anyone to talk to about it and doesn't really know much about it. I think the aunt convinced him because I was in town and it took a little bit, but we finally started over the communications and we started talking. Now it was short, to the point in terms of you know answer, and but I hope it was meaningful. It was meaningful to me, I felt like it was meaningful for this community. That people Tanya I was working with were awesome.
Jeff Noble:The next day before I had left they were having a carnival or celebration, they were doing something. The teachers were all there and they had different stations and they were making like mitts and they were eating good snacks and they were wrapping hot dogs and banning and making these delicious Pogos and, oh my gosh, it was so and so everybody was so nice to me and one of the ways, since they don't really have self service, they have internet but it is like one megabyte, I think, when I was doing a speed test just to check it out. That's not a lot, if you know what I'm talking about. So the way they communicate and the way that she communicates about her program is through Tick Tock and I did a Tick Tock video. The school was breathtaking, the school was beautiful and little did I know. They gave me a gift of some of those mitts and it was really cool.
Jeff Noble:Anyways, it's time to pack our bags again, because I go home for just a quick moment in time, for about a week or so, and we're off to our next journey where, for the first time, I go to the United Kingdom. I go to Scotland, and the reason I went to Scotland was because there are a lot of people in my audience that listen to the podcast, that take online coaching programs that we have from the UK and it's, in fact, it's our third biggest audience. I have had people from the UK in my online coaching programs for several years. So when the opportunity came up to collaborate with Mary Ellen from O'Shea's brains O-Mains, we just said we got to make this happen. We did, and I needed to make this happen because I didn't realize how strong there was some FOMO, you see, I'm foreshadowing, but I was about to have an event for people exclusively who were a part of my online coaching program and they were pretty bummed because it was far to get to for them. So I'm glad I was able to reciprocate and it was the first time like I had met people, obviously in my coaching program before and before the pandemic, traveling all over the world and meeting people, but our program that we have these folks through the pandemic. I just had seen them in these little squares and they had seen me, and that's amazing that we're able to do that. But what's even more amazing was to be able to see them, to hug them, feel them like, see and to be in that atmosphere again, and there was about 20 of them.
Jeff Noble:We had about 50 people at the first event in air. We made it happen. There was a lot of different organizations there. I got to give a big shout out to Judith from FASD Fife that's another place in Scotland. She was working really hard with me as well and again, tickets sold, getting tickets together, wrangling people, getting the word out. So, judith, hats off man. Thank you so much. You were also super cool to hang out with too. That doesn't hurt at all. So we're there. And then we went out and had some food together for the folks who wanted to do that with us, and it was cool from air.
Jeff Noble:I went and was driven to Edinburgh because I was going to hang out with the folks at the FASD Scotland hub. Now how am I getting to all these places? It's the first time I've been there. Well, I got an escort. Not just any escorts, the best escort.
Jeff Noble:There's a gentleman by the name of Alex Duffy and he is a moderator in one of our groups. He is more than a moderator. He is a mentor to people. He is a beacon of humor. He posts memes, he gives people chuckles, he throws in dad jokes, he makes people feel good. Oh, what's excellent about this, even more so, is that my man has been battling cancer. He has been battling cancer for several years, but he still makes time and he still empathizes and he solidifies, he cauterizes our group, and it was nice to finally meet him, finally give him a big hug. He is hilarious, so it was just so good to see him in person. Not to mention actually witnessing his ability to focus on others. Dealing with his own battle is really inspiring. It's one of the things that is helping me right now. It's so important to look to other people when things have happened to you and you've been through some up and downs because we haven't gotten to that far yet. So that was awesome.
Jeff Noble:Edinburgh was able to hang out with Barbara and her team and her volunteers, and they do amazing work out in Scotland. I loved them and it was a lot of fun. It was different because I got to talk about how to. I had tips about working with families not so much about FASD, because they are well versed in that. So they do a lot of cool things and I want to show this quick clip from Barbara because I think it's important to share that. There are other people out there in the world doing really good things and if you're in Scotland, this might be the first time you're hearing them. So let's have a quick lesson.
Barbra :Hi, I'm Barbara from FASD Hub Scotland. We're part of Adoption UK and we're funded by the Scottish Government to provide services and support to all families affected by FASD, so this includes an advice line. We have one-to-one support, we have peer support meetups, we have loads of training and we have lots and lots of information on social media and on our website too, so you might want to check out wwwfasdhubscott. We've also recently started some really exciting work with adults with FASD as well, so please look out for that.
Barbra :A few weeks ago, we were delighted to have Jeff come and visit us in our offices in Edinburgh, and Jeff came to do some training with our staff and our volunteers. Jeff spent some time with us talking about his top tips for working with families who are caring for children and young people who have a history of prenatal alcohol exposure, and in return, we gave him the full Scottish works. There was Ayin Bru, there was the Andrews flag, there was Tablet, there was Tarnton. Thank you so much, jeff, for spending some time with us. We really appreciate it and taste you back.
Jeff Noble:At the end of the day, man, seeing so many full hearts and talking to people in person, it really did feel great. It was like a small sample size of what it was to become, and the thing that's litified for me is that our audience reaches all over the world and it was a joy to see them in person. Now it doesn't matter if you're from Canada, the US, the UK, Australia, Europe, caregivers or caregivers and it's hard, and while you might speak a different language and live in a different country and have different customs, it's still the same. You're still dealing with the same. So it's almost like a global camaraderie and I want to bring that out instead of it being so stigmatized.
Jeff Noble:It should be like how it was good to have a Canadian flag on your backpack when you were traveling, because that was an international symbol for awesome. But the point is is that we're all in this together and no matter where we are, we can make a difference. So it was nice to make new connections, new experiences and having the power of a shared mission, but it was now time to go across back, across the pond, In fact, via Iceland. That was my layover. It was pretty awesome because there was something even bigger that was on the horizon and that was my very first conference. It's my conference and we call it the caregiver kickstart live and it was in Florida. Now you see, we do in person and online training and once a year I have an offer where we do something. It's called the caregiver kickstart coaching program and it's a pretty intensive six month FASD training and education program with community experts, online learning module. All that good stuff, lots of connection coaching calls.
Jeff Noble:It's amazing and people tell me it's amazing and they keep coming back and it's excellent and our community is fantastic. The one thing that we were missing was connecting, like seeing each other in person, and I knew I had to make that happen, and so that started all the way back last November. Last November I'd never done it before. I had never done it. I had a couple of false starts and then somebody on our team mentioned a contact and that's how we got the ball rolling. Her name is Gina and she's awesome, and so hence we started to put together this conference and we had it in Orlando, florida, because the one thing I know is that can't just be a conference. It also has to be like a vacation for people, and it's hard to get away. When you're a caregiver it's really hard, and you know one of the people in our group it was the first time in 17 years that they got away together without their kids and like it was amazing the first for me for that magnitude, and I won't lie, there was moments I thought it wasn't going to happen, but the team's relentless spirit, we did, we made it a reality. And so we went to Florida and I was so grossed in the planning, the logistics, you know, making sure everything was perfect. We were filming some fun videos that I hadn't stopped to think about how I'd feel when I saw our community come together. I always just pictured like meeting one or two people at a time and it didn't really hit me about all of the people.
Jeff Noble:And at first the attendees started trickling in. It was okay, there was lots of space in terms of before meeting someone, and then all of a sudden everyone just started pouring in like waves crashing on a beach. These folks came in droves and I'll tell you what. I knew that this was going to be emotional, but the depth of that emotion I had this chink in the armor for sure, man. I didn't realize. And I was sitting by the pool talking to two of our caregivers who had been with us for a long time and they were expressing their gratitude and their genuine appreciation for the space me and the team had created and it was palpable.
Jeff Noble:I didn't think I would react so strongly and I guess I just let it in for a minute, which is good, because I got a massive lump in my throat and I remember excusing myself, retreating to my hotel room and just, I just was crying, man. I was just crying, but they weren't sad tears Like. They were tears of joy, of realization and understanding that we did it and it's genuine and people are really loving it. Because you just don't know, and I remember calling Tara and all I could say was it's all worth it. I knew it's all worth it. I'm not trying to be melodramatic, but I had a hard time regulating my emotions like our kids do, but I'll take trying to regulate tears any day. It was so good and I wrote this.
Jeff Noble:This is what I wrote when I just got home and it says I don't even know what to say To see you all so happy to witness the return of the on the investment you made in yourselves and your family. It was overwhelming. My heart is so full. I heard that so much. It's so true. Everywhere I looked, they saw smiles, I heard laughter and felt the warmth of hugs. I'm not the same person I was before this event and I bet many of you feel the same. I'm back home now and more motivated than ever to empower, educate and create more opportunities for connection. Every caregiver deserves to experience what we did Every FASD caregiver and I fully believe that. So there's a lot of work to head, but first some rest. That's what I thought I was prepared for some rest. Words can't describe the feeling of just completing that circle and people are excited for the next one, and so am I, and it's going to be great, like.
Jeff Noble:The lessons I learned here was just a power of shared experience, the power of being in a room. One of the caregivers in our Facebook group said you know, it wasn't even necessarily the stuff on the agenda, even though we had some researchers come and talk and we were doing teaching and training. That's what we were doing. And he said that wasn't really the part about it. The part about it was that I didn't have to sit and explain why my children act the way they do. I didn't have to navigate the slalom of stigma and stares. Instead, it was just people. I knew people like me and they were hugging and it felt like they'd known each other for years and I even by one of my, from one of my coaches, I remember getting a text picture at 2 am in the morning and she said just look at this. It was the pool and it was full and people just sitting and talking and whatever else they were doing. But that's their own thing. They were on vacation. It was so good. It created an unbrinkable bond and a lot of folks in connection and I know there's lots of folks out there who this could be a really lonely endeavor and to be able to provide that One of the best moments besides married kids in my entire life.
Jeff Noble:The team worked great. It was our first time doing it, so kudos to everybody that I was going home to rest and to go on vacation and I had a few things to take care of. But you know, this is the thing called life. So I just, you know we're going to move on and I just take a moment to talk about something that was a little bit heavy. Heavy. It was heavy on the art, it was.
Jeff Noble:I thought it was through most of that grief and loss stuff, but it turns out, my friends. I was just beginning. So after the hi of the Florida event the absolute hi I was buzzing with excitement to be back home, to be with my family. But life, you know, as it often does, through a curveball and I was going for a walk, it was like the 13th of June and my phone started just now getting lots of messages from Facebook and it was friends from the old country, from my high school. They were asking if I heard the news about my friend Ryan, and you know when a lot of people are messaging you. That took me a few moments to realize and for the sink in. But just at 42 years old my age with three beautiful kids found out that Ryan had suddenly passed away. And now I want to be clear about something. Over the years Ryan and I lost touch. We would touch base whenever we could. We did it occasionally, and on Facebook we'd exchange some messages and then there'd be years where there'd be nothing. We ran into each other a few times but while we weren't as close as we once were, the news of his passing it, man, it hit me really hard. Here's why Ryan was pivotal during like a scary transition time in my life.
Jeff Noble:I grew up in a small town, la Lake, northeast in Ontario 13,000, I think. It was a big mining town. The mines had shut down. My stepdad went back to school, which was awesome. He became an environmental engineer and he got a job in the greater Toronto area. It was the start of the grade 11. And with some finagling I was able to stay behind. Honestly, I didn't want to go down there because I was afraid of getting lost in the big city shuffle. And those last two years in LA Lake I played hockey with Ryan. We had a little crew and we were pretty close.
Jeff Noble:And then eventually, after graduating and I moved back to Southern Ontario with my folks and then Ryan was actually already there. He is a year older than me, I think, or some months older than me in terms of school, and he was already down there. He was working out a placement. It was actually the same place as my father worked at the same plant. So we got to hang out a lot during that time, going to Pearl Jam concerts, obviously going out as young guys do and his presence made the move a lot less intimidating for me. So I always appreciated that about him. He always seemed wiser and older and this guy man he you know some people are just he was a cool dude, one that the ladies loved. He was an excellent teammate when we played hockey together. Oftentimes he would be watching my back, protecting my back, even though it was way taller than him. He was a strong guy. He had your back. He was always a life of the party. He had that like this magnetic energy.
Jeff Noble:I grew up in Northern Ontario. We have house parties in high school. That's what we did anyways back in the 90s. And if you were at a house party and you wanted to find Ryan, all you had to do is just listen for a second because his voice like full laughter and stories, I'm telling you, it would cut through the crowd noise and you knew exactly where he was and it was always good to see him. Yeah, and the thing that kind of hurts the most is there's always this thought in the back of my mind. You know that, oh, we'll reconnect. We'll reconnect down the road. There's always this time, but his passing was a stark reminder that life is fleeting. It made me realize and cherish every moment the importance of it, the importance of reaching out, of reconnecting, and I was able to do that with some friends because our time here it's fast, it's precious and you never know when it's going to be over. Ryan was a good soul. He was a very talented musician. He treated everyone with respect, like the, even though he was a great at chirping, and he'd always have a good zinger for you. He had a big smile on his face when he said it and he could talk to anybody the CEO in the room, to the guy who was doing the labor and he could fit right in with them. Yeah, so rest in peace, my good man, and his passing is teaching me to hug my little lady a little bit tighter and to not wait for some day to connect with old friends, and that's what I did. I immediately connected with some old buddies from back in the day, so my heart goes out to him and big condolences to his family. If someone who's lost a sibling, I get it, and if you've lost a sibling, you get it. So I will always be thinking of that guy for sure.
Jeff Noble:The thing is I didn't have much time to process. I didn't have much time to process what was going on because I had to have surgery. I know I had surgery. What happened is I got my duct removed. So this is a wild story and that's I am sharing it. Okay, so came over from Florida you know, heard of Orion and but the next day I had to go in. So I had don't worry, it's not so gross and I'm not going to TMI, you buy my ducks removed because I had something that was called salaryary stones. It happens to some people that doesn't happen to others. Some people get one, some people get lots, and I'm the one who gets lost and my mouth is producer of minerals and I don't know why it couldn't have been gold or diamonds, that would have been cool. But I digress so I don't need to get into that nitty gritty, but we have to take it out.
Jeff Noble:I had also went to two different specialists who kind of gave me the run around. I don't think they were too keen on doing it and it hadn't really hurt. And so they one guy said oh, if it doesn't hurt, people live with them. But it was weird and it could get painful and backed up and that stuff. And as I got closer to Christmas time it was really hurting me. So I asked my doctor to make me a referral to here where I am now living, like in Northern Ontario, because I was in the city and, lo and behold, like you couldn't even write it any better. Okay, I'd seen a few specialists who kind of brushed it off initially, but fast forward a few months and it became a real issue. So I got another referral. I guess who it was, it was a blast from the past, it was a friend from high school, luke, now Dr Luke Harris, who become an ENT specialist and surgeon.
Jeff Noble:My man, small world, or maybe it's like just a small town thing Now. Luke and I weren't exactly BFFs Back in the day. We bump into each other Now and then he was a really shy kid and I love making him blush when we did run into each other and fast forward to our adult years, and here I was about to be as patient. So after weighing our options, we decided the best thing to do was to actually get it removed. But we waited until June because with the back to back to back to back projects you know the whole talking for a living thing that I do we had to wait until June.
Jeff Noble:June 14 was surgery day, and here's where it gets kind of fun. So the hospital staff were fantastic. So I'm there in my gown keister, blown in the wind, if you know what I mean, and I'm being checked by everyone. I don't know if you've ever had day surgery the nurse, then we had the student, and then the anesthesiologist and then the doctor, but every time somebody came they were all grinning ear to ear. So apparently Dr Harris, like Luke, had told them they were having a special guest today and that they were when I was talking.
Jeff Noble:They were all keen on hearing some embarrassing high school stories about them. Dude, I am not one to disappoint. So there I am, being escorted down the hallways with a medical gown on sharing stories and making the man with the scalpel blush again. Which could have been smarter or not? He was the one with the scalpel. One of the last things I remember telling Dr Harris and his team is honestly, I would sign a disclosure agreement. Could you imagine if I woke up from surgery and he had drawn like a dick on my face, like a penis on my face? Could you imagine if I woke up after surgery and he'd drawn like something on my face?
Jeff Noble:One last thing I remember was telling Dr Harris and his team that I would sign a non-disclosure agreement if I had woken up after surgery and he had drawn something on my face, like we used to do to kids who passed out at parties in high school. I can't be the only one he didn't. He did an excellent job, though, and his team took great care of me. It was a great experience and interaction. I was finally rid of those marbles in my mouth and I was getting ready now to really head on to go to vacation to heal both emotionally and physically After the roller coaster events. It was time for a breather. I managed to snag this sweet spot by the lake Airbnb. Let me tell you it was every bit of the time and the space I needed. So we had days filled with swimming, evenings with fires, roast and marshmallows, catching frogs, swimming, but it wasn't just about the activities. This was a time for connection. I had the time to catch up with some dear old friends reminiscing about the times we had, and actually got to more and more I was affecting me more than I had anticipated, but that's okay, because you have to feel the feelings and don't feed them. So I did. I fed those. There was time to grieve and mourn and there was time to connect, and heart to heart by the fireside were therapeutic. And speaking of fireside companions, my dog goes. Rizby and Sierra were living their best life. Whether they were making a splash in the water or curling up by the fire, their joy was awesome. To top it off, my nephew Dylan dropped by for a few days, adding his youthful energy. It was great to see him and he brought his loud ass car. But even amidst all the rock station, I could feel the weight of something that's still laid ahead. There was one more, I thought, emotionally charged day looming over the horizon and I held onto the hope that once I navigated through that I'd be on the path like to healing, mourning, grieving and going through those stages and moving on. Because you know, especially for my sister, it had been a 10 year burn of an anticipatory grief. But I want to get through that and I wanted to heal. But most importantly, I wanted to get back to what I did best and that's helping and supporting others.
Jeff Noble:So the next big thing I had to do was go to spread my sister's ashes, and my family on my dad's side is from Manitoulin Island, and now Manitoulin Island isn't just like a geographical wonder man, it is, lots of people say, god's country. This truly is a beautiful place. It's got so many memories. It's like a place of a thousand islands, as I think it's the largest freshwater island in the world. It's where my sister, jen, and I spent council hours. We have a camp there Well, my uncles and my dad, they have a but I got to enjoy it, me and my sister, my family, lots of my friends have been up riding four wheeler, just exploring trails, just being kids. Their connection to that property is deep rooted in spending hundreds of acres and it's they've been intertwined with my families for years. My family paid like dues on it, and that by paying respects. That's what they would do and they treated it like a sacred ground. That's how our family did it.
Jeff Noble:And the day I was to spread Jen's ashes oh, it was heavy, my dudes, it was just me, and that wasn't because nobody else wanted to, it was because I was able to do it, to get away at that moment and, to be honest, I'm kind of glad that that's the way it was. I had put the offer out there, obviously for other people to come and join me, but I'm glad because it was. It was super heavy, it was cathartic, it was beautiful. All those memories flooding back. You know the profound connection to the land. It made it hard wrenching, like I was saying, in cathartic, as the you know, the ashes disappeared and it was like blending in with the land we both loved. I felt like sorrow and peace. I hope this act would mark the beginning of my healing journey, and even my sisters. But as I found out, life is a funny way of throwing curveballs.
Jeff Noble:And just as I was navigating the emotional aftermath of our Manitoulin Island trip, another challenge presented itself Sierra, our loyal canine companion. She wasn't her usual self. Now she's a rescue and we got her. I think it was going to be the sixth home that she would have been in. I was on the road actually promoting my book at the time and Tara said hey, can we get another dog? And I said absolutely not, because dogs are expensive men. And I was on the road trying to do my thing but she did not listen to me and I am glad she didn't because she is amazing.
Jeff Noble:What happened was we saw look like a hotspot right on her paws. Oh, because she's a bit sensitive, she'll usually go away if some spugging or something and a troubling hotspot on her paws. So we got home the next day and we took her to the vet right away and I went to the gym and Tara was with Sierra and she came back and in the car she told me that the heart wrenching news that it was the C word. I'm not saying anything. I'm not saying the actual word because she's right behind me and we don't need to say the word, but unfortunately it's spread from her spleen to her heart and it's something sarcoma, so it is in the blood vessels and it's very volatile and it is not good.
Jeff Noble:It is from a couple of weeks to a couple of months and I was devastated, I was exhausted from my sister, from the ashes, from driving home and that is the absolute last thing. We called her la cucaracha because we thought this girl was going to be around for a lot longer. But that's the way it is and it's tempting to question the universe and to ask why things happen to those we love. But I've come to see Sierra's more than just a pet, like she's been a beacon of support, especially during those challenging times with my sister and her mental health and addiction battles. Like, in a way, sierra's been an anchor and perhaps her purpose was to guide me through those storms Now with commercees. Maybe it's going to be time for her to rest. Deep love brings deep pain. It's a lesson I've come to terms with.
Jeff Noble:But even in the midst of this pain there is lots of gratitude. I am so thankful that to the medical staff at the Parkside Animal Hospital, they have been incredible because if I didn't know and then something just happened because it could be internal bleeding and it could have just happened. And I am just so thankful because, honestly, every day we wake up we've been waking up. It's been over two weeks that she's still been around and every day we've been waking up and I say, do you want to go for a walk? And she just leaps up and until that time that doesn't happen, we're going to keep rocking and rolling and she is just inspiring me and I just sit in gratitude with her and I'm just glad that the time we had and I'm glad again with the vets and all the precious moments that we're sharing and I'm living in the moment. Don't get me wrong. There are waves of sorrow that come over me. Obviously we're cherishing every moment. We're taking lots of post-walk selfies and videos and extra treats, and I've been down this road before it's the worst. It'll be the worst, but it'll end up being the best. And a dog Teaches a lesson, and whoo, and so clearly, I have had time to reflect.
Jeff Noble:I have had time to reflect and if you've made it this far and you're listening to me, let me share you what I've learned and maybe you'll learn something. Maybe you've already learned it, maybe it's something to help you. It is a bit more personal and not if it is the related, but don't worry about that, because here we're gonna get there. Here's the lessons, like I've learned and life is a funny way of teaching us man Often the least we expect it and not the way I wanted it. And I've been in what it feels like the grief and law gulag for Coming on a year now, and so here's what I've learned. I've learned this one life's unpredictable nature. Life isn't fair, but it's how we respond that really defines us, and I'm trying to respond and I want that to define me as how I respond and to be vulnerable and to Share and show inner strength. My dudes, you are stronger than you think, but you can face any outcome, the toughest challenges. There are ways, those are skills. There are skills to get through grief. I'm using the skills I'm. I can't wait to show you I got way to show you. I'll talk about those more in an upcoming, a podcast.
Jeff Noble:Emotional wellness it's okay to feel deeply. It's okay to feel like this I'm empathetic, like I love hard. But remember that when you're going through stuff to feed your soul, not your sorrows Avoid the negative pitfalls of coping mechanisms. If you have a tribe, I want you to rely on it. We have our free group that you can jump in there. That's a ready-made tribe with lots of awesome people. I have my own tribe. I'm blessed. I have a really incredible team. I've usually always involved, especially for online coaching programs. But obviously, what was going on with this last Around and I was back and forth seeing my sister I had to rely on my tribe and my coaches. And, like my wife, Tara, who also works with me as well as an incredible mom and there's so many people on my team, there's Yv onne Williams, she's been with me for so long and they just feel for me. I have coaches Barb, Christine, Laurie, and Michael. We have moderators like Alex, also Laurie Anderson she's a coach with us as well Niki and Heather, and if I forgot your names, I'm so sorry (Debbie and Angelene) and, of course, the guy editing this, who has been a lot to fun to be on my journey with and he's a really cool dude and that's Kevin, the editor, and and also the folks that are involved in our communities. I've been leaning on them. It's been me. The last tough time. This was in that beginning journey with my sister. I was looking back on Facebook and it started to turn around 2011, 2012.
Jeff Noble:And the last but not least is gratitude is Key. Being thankful, I'm thankful. I'm thankful for another day with Sierra. I'm thankful for To have the ability to be here and talk to you guys. I'm thankful to have somebody to edit it, and all the times I had to restart this, I'm very grateful. And so gratitude is the key. And who can I not thank last for you, my dudes, you, those who have been listening to the podcast for so long. You can see why. Obviously, you can see why I'm sorry. We're not sorry about Putting out podcasts and my team has been working really hard Behind the scenes to get like operating procedures, and this is our first test of Doing content and putting an audio because you might be listening to this on the podcast. You could be watching this on a video, might be seeing a different part in a reel. I am not giving up and I'm relying on my team and we're learning and we're getting better and I just want to thank you. Thank you for the emails, like the messages, everything about the podcast. I love doing it.
Jeff Noble:This whole time I've had you in my thoughts and often some not often, I mean moments I'd be like anxious a little bit because I Want to get back to doing what I do best. That's just talking to you dudes, just talking about FASD, about life, about how do we manage the hard, and I had to go through a masterclass this past Several months in order to come back stronger, and I'm coming back stronger, but your support has really kept me going and I would get the odd one. You know I haven't heard from you Wherever you've been and, as you can hear and see, we've been. We've been really busy doing a lot of cool things, but I'll tell you what this whole thing with Sierra and this whole thing about learning this last news and being a little upset that I'm here again. I wanted to start healing and move on and I stopped to stay here for a little bit, but, depending on what you're watching, this could be a well on my way to healing and, who knows, I could have a little guy I love you soon. I also love animals, so I tell you what I've realized.
Jeff Noble:One of the biggest things I realized is that I don't have to wait and there is no perfect time to serve. There is no where the only way you can help people is when all your shit is together. That's just a fallacy. That's not true. A life will always have its up and down, but with the support of community, I've proven that I can handle hard stuff and I'm more motivated than ever.
Jeff Noble:This journey has shaped me, man. It's made me a better trainer, more empathetic Educator, coach, podcaster, author and yes, sometimes a bit of an asshole. But always know this, even if I'm not always visible man, I see you, I understand the battles you're facing, raising an individual on the spectrum After sharing everything with you. You've been on my mind and I see you in our free group and I read the posts and we see people coming into our group and they're looking for support and resources and Connection and they feel like shit and they're lonely. I know that and I know some of you are watching or listening right now and you, you're feeling a bit lost. Maybe you're at a point where you think and is anyone out here who gets it, who understands this FASD journey? Well, I've been there and I want you to know that you are absolutely not alone.
Jeff Noble:So, again, after a few days of getting that news, something clicked. I don't need to wait for the perfect moment to reach out to help Life's messy, but that doesn't mean we can't find a way together. Like I said, I've been seeing people looking for support and resources. So, while just a few days after the news with Sierra, I just was like you know what to the team, we have to jump into action and I have a great team, great project manager, and so here's the deal, and this might be in a few days, depending on when you're watching this, but on August 21st that's not too far from now I'm hosting a webinar, and it's not just anywhere. I've been our.
Jeff Noble:We're calling it the FASD lifeline webinar. Why lifeline? Because that's what I want to be for you. I want to be a connection, a community, a place where you can find support that you've been searching for, and I know you're searching For because people are showing up at our free group. And so this no-cost webinar, my dudes, we're gonna dive deep into, like essential strategies to help you navigate this journey.
Jeff Noble:There's a lot of information out there what's good, what's not, what is helpful, what is practical. I'm gonna give you tools that are absolute game changers for supporting the ones you love, building a community that Truly understands the up and downs of fetal alcohol, and I'm going to introduce you to the FASD success path. It's a roadmap that's transformed the lives of many caregivers, just like you. Plus, I'll be right there answering your questions live. Life throws curveballs, my dudes, but we could do hard things. We could do hard things together. So if you're nodding along saying, yes, man, I'm looking for support, I'm looking for resources, this is tough. I feel isolated, like nobody gets, I feel like I'm going crazy. If you're nodding on all this, but then in the description there'll be a link, there's gonna be links. Click there, register, no cost to you, and hope you join me and I can. We can help each other Navigate this journey, because it's all really about collective wisdom.
Jeff Noble:And after that webinar, we're gonna be diving right back into regular podcasting. Let me know if you enjoyed the video format. So if you are lost and you don't know where to go. You got me my dudes. Now you are up to date. So just know that I was not. I didn't disappear. I didn't run away scared. In fact, I read headfirsts into this because I know what I'm going through is someday gonna help somebody else, and maybe this podcast helped you. Maybe nobody listens to it. Let me know. You can write me, jeff at FASD successcom. Let me know what you think, or you can write a comment underneath here. I appreciate it. I know how hard you're working and we're coming. I love you and I can't wait to be stronger together and to move through this together. You are awesome. Stay awesome. Bye.